Sunday, October 18, 2009


This has been a real problem with me for most of my life. A lot of times I'll look at what others have and what I don't have and it makes me really depressed. Seems like everyone is moving forward and growing, except for me. I feel like I'm going to be left behind. At times, I'll feel incompetent, have real low self-esteem, or feel completely unmotivated and uninspired. Maybe it's me being ungrateful or some form of jealousy. Is there any benefit in comparing yourself to others? How would you go about stopping yourself from comparing?

Well to wish you were someone else, is to waste the person you are.

That pretty much sums it up. I was having a conversation earlier this week with a lady about her and confidence problems and wanting to change who she was so that she could hopefully be in a relationship with a guy who she had an interest in. My advice to her was DONT CHANGE ANYTHING about yourself. Comparing yourself to others makes you feel bad and jealous because your looking in a negative mindset, I think you can still compare yourself but you need to stop thinking about what they have that makes them better then you, why your not as good as them and so on. You need to approach it with a positive mind set and think, that person seems very confident, what is it about them that makes them that way? Is it something that I have that I haven't been considering?

Just remind yourself constantly that you are you for a reason, not to be someone else but to be your smiley old self. Once you believe that and that no one else is better at being you then you, it shouldn't be such as burden anymore.
you know what, no matter which area you choose, you are going to find people who are better than you and people who are worse than you. Take money for instance. There are people in Africa who cannot get a meal everyday and there is the Forbes list of billionaires. You, I and everybody else fit somewhere in between, maybe skewed to one side than the other. So what is the point of comparing and getting depressed about it?
I know it's difficult to implement this attitude because it is ingrained in our culture. With practice it can be done.

What matters most it how you see yourself. Depends, i looked at myself in the mirror and all i see is a lion.Not a cutie one like simba, but a very scary one.indeed.
The most important thing in business is honesty, integrity, and hard work.


Never forgetting where we came from. See, you are what you are in this world.
That's either one of two things. Either you are somebody, or you're nobody.


Kosong. As it is. Take 'Suzi' my 1st real girlfriend, my 1st real break-up.Happening right in front of me.I never thought it was going to be so much of a car crash. So this is all my fault? Me? :) its funny what goes through your mind at the time like this.Two and half years we spent together. The promises we made. Things we bought together. Times we spent. Why did we break up? its funny the reason is so small. One day she's with me saying i love you and the next days she's with someone else probably saying the same thing. So did she really love me? What is LOVE anyway? The edge old question. I used to live in student accomodation not far from the college. Is basically a two-story. Concrete block house in some 120 hormon students. This is the haunting period, the time when the Demons of regret comes for you. And then i realized , all of my friends were haunted. But there's a difference between my ghost and theirs. It wasnt too late for me.

I got out of the car and ready to explode. But then it all just went away.And that was it, that moment I wasnt angry anymore. Friends, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it at someone's face. But there's a 3rd. You can just... let it go..yup..just let it go. And only when you do that it is really gone.And you can move forward. That was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasnt mine. Mine is still out there, waiting for me.

I wanna fresh start.That's how charmed my life was. But I still think i turned out to be a pretty decent guy. In spite of it all.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Everyone wants to hear I Love You, but what they want more is for it to be true when you say it.
Okay Im gonna say somethin out loud, what you and that guy have, what i thought for a second you and i had, what i know Akhmal and Amirah have. What Daniel and Suraya. have.I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen and i guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that's all im willing to say.

Love is not blind. It could see, but it doesnt mind. Love is not to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit out own image. But for me? hmm... there's no love sincerer than the love of food


. As far back as i can remember, I always wanted to be a Gangster. To me, being a Gangster was way better than being a Prime Minister. Even before first i knew i wanted to be part of them.That was there i knew that i belong. Being somebody in a neighbourhood that was full of nobodies . They were not like anybody else. They did what ever they want. At night, Whenever they played cards.Nobody ever called a Cops.

I was the luckiest kid in the world. I Could go anywhere, I could do anything, i knew everybody and everybody knew me. Some guys, they even let me parked their cars. And here i am, just a little kid, i cant even see over the steering wheel and I'm parking a Mercedez.

You see people like my father could never understand but i was part of something. I belong. I was treated like a grown up. Everyday i was learning to score. Ringgit here, Ringgit there. I was living in a fantasy. My father was always pissed off. He was pissed off that he made lousy money. He was pissed at my Grandmother who's on a wheelchair. He was pissed at 4 of us living in a such a tiny house. He didnt want anybody hearing what he said, and he didnt want anybody listening to what he was being told. 100 of guys depended on him.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Time is the only Medicine

I dont think anyone ever imagines on the wedding day that there'll be part of 46% that doesnt live happily ever after.

The day you get married is suppose to be the happiest day of your life. The perfect day ending to a perfect love story.My cousin's wedding? at least her 1st wedding, well didnt go so well.

Well get back to my story, and its funny looking back on it now, i was too sure that she was the one. When she left me. I was so devastated. But you guys got me thru it. I've come out the other side a little bit stronger. You know I hardly even think about it anymore. Well that is what time does i guess. But as much as my friends really wanted to be there for me. I was by all appearencess, Fine.

Love is not Cinta

Love , affection , fondness , passion. Whenever it happens with someone, it changes one's life. The heart starts beating faster and makes you sigh. It gives you sleepless night, one tends to day dream. It teaches you what it means to love someone. It teaches you how to take those seven steps which lead to the journey of seven lives. If you're lucky, you love. In just one shot.

Still remember , year 2006 , Kuala Lumpur. I had not seen a city as rocking as this. How are you bytheway? You know i keep coming back to you because you are my inspiration , my strenght, my dream , my destination. You know i am a very good actor. You know what i love the most about you, that i keep talking and you never get bored.